Lying on the floor,
because your white sheets are too risky
A blurred vision of that smile,
strikes me like lightning
at sunset, sitting on the sand
where the sky turned pink and I fled to you
because no place else was ever an option
Spiraling around the room,
we voiced our recent adventures.
Taking for granted all the expenditures
that neither of us knew we were allowing
Months later and my heart has spent too much time on you
I haven’t told it not to,
in the hopes that the similarities I saw
when you caught me staring
had not in fact been pieced together by my imagination,
but that I truly know you better than you think I do.
Throbbing senses spark a jolt through my chest
when those eyes flash to the back of my mind
like an alarm for something I had forgotten,
I wish I had forgotten.
Yet my throat still tightens when you are next to me
So close and somehow a million light years away
Now that we don’t know each other, who are you
Now that I have strategically won
this game that includes you as a pawn
Where I have succeeded in tricking you into pushing me away
Is “I did it because I had to” ever good enough?
You frequent my dreams,
maybe because not only did I watch you walk away
I catapulted you off to another world,
a world where I don’t exist.
There you are, and here I am.
Fortunate enough that neither of our worlds are likely to collide
Unfortunate enough to be incapable
of letting the hope go that we’d coexist
My moves have been made,
and everyday I wish I could take them back.