Lost and Found

All my limbs can become trees:

It’s like being lost and becoming found,

all in one brief moment of stillness.

Having the world at your weathered fingertips

but clenching your fist instead

in the hopes of holding onto a feeling.

It’s when I breathe deep, and you

You are at the end of my breath.

Returning it to me, filling me up.

Extracting any air of emptiness

Consuming a void I didn’t know I’d had

Taking a trip to a place that only exists in an alternate universe,

where I am floating through time with no relativity

And you return to me, your breath.

Inflating my lungs

It’s a century, if just for a second

A world of questions answered in a mystery unsolved.

It’s a kiss

Strong enough to lose yourself in,

safe enough still

to have become found.


The Days Of Influenza

Influenza… sounds so much more serious when you call it that. Well this is day three of my first experience with the flu.
It’s odd… because you know you’re not dying. But then your throat swells and you can’t breathe through your nose and you think ‘if i fall asleep… how will I breathe??’
Maybe that’s me because I’m paranoid. But it is interesting the things that the flu makes you appreciate.

Last night, I couldn’t breathe at all and I found myself thinking about breathing. I prayed to God, ‘please let my right nostril unclog, I swear I will never take breathing for granted again.’

But breathing is breathing… so today after being heavily medicated I woke up and I could actually breathe through my nose so I wasn’t completely disgusted by my own mouth breathing. And I thought, wow so this is what it is like to be able to breathe again. I actually said thank you, to whomever it was that I apparently think is in charge of my immune system.

When you can’t do something so simple, you start to be grateful just for the act of doing it. All I wanted was to breathe. Any other day, I don’t think about breathing. I just do it. And I promised my higher power that if he just made breathing easy I would never take it for granted again. But I can’t just do that. Breathing is breathing. I can’t possibly think ‘thank you’ in my head whenever I take a breath. How would I get anything done?

What if we did though… what if we were so mindful of the simple things that make our lives happen that we appreciated just the act of them. When I was in Tennessee, a very large part of what I learned had to do with mindfulness… with being appreciative and grateful for the moment that was happening as it happened. On a day to day basis, we do not think about breathing. It just happens. It’s natural. Maybe we should recognize these things more… I know I should. I should be happy just to take breaths that are clear and painless.
How much more positive we would be if we just thought once a day “Wow… it was really easy to breath today. So glad I don’t have the flu today. So glad I have energy to just be apart of this day. So glad I am healthy, and I am living.”

So I guess this is me finding the bright side of the days of influenza. Today I can breathe, and it doesn’t burn my nostrils or shoot fire through my throat. (Thank you Mucinex and antibioitics!!)

But maybe everyday I should say thank you.
Thank you to the universe for creating an atmosphere that is somehow filled with oxygen that can fill our lungs.
Thank you for the planet that is so perfectly created for human life to thrive on.
Thank you for the grass that feeds the animals, the flowers that support the bees, the bees that pollenate, the water in the ocean that give the fish a home, the fresh rivers that help us to survive.
There are so many things we do not acknowledge on a day to day basis that are actually the sole reasons we are alive.
Thank you nose for smelling, fingers for feeling, thank you heart for beating.

Thank you life for being, and letting us all be.