A Wilder Life

Rustic wildflower garden - LOVE!: Born on a full moon sky,
your heart as large as all the galaxies combined
You entered the world, wide eyed and alert
And every day since you have carefully observed your surroundings,
With big blue eyes, without judgement.
You see things as they are, clear of bias
You have no expectations, and yet the Universe lay at your feet
In those tiny fingers,
there is strength that has not met it’s limits.
Behind your eyes,
there is a mind constantly learning
Making sense of things, forming into it’s own.
You are free from the ugliness that can exist,
full of radiant light,
Filled to your cheeks with warmth and joy.
You are a spirit without restraints,
a fresh start, a blank slate.
Born into a strange place, an unfamiliar land
Yet somehow nothing scares you at all,
you have nothing but love and curiosity for this cruel world.
It reminds me of our purest forms, our truest selves.
At what point, do the complexities of life compel us
to stop being curious  –
Why does our daily dose of corruption
lead to diminishing morality;
Instead of guiding us to love more, 
to be more generously affectionate?
We have stopped trusting love. 
We began this way, children reaching for those we needed most
We believed someone would always be there
Slowly as time passes, 
we learn that those around us have a choice to be present in our lives, or to leave
And sometimes it is not a choice at all.
But eventually, we stop reaching. 
And you, my son, I hope that you always reach for love. 
I beg you, to love always.
 Even if it is the harder thing to do.
Keep the passion for exploration, 
keep the light in your soul.
I beg you to know the world for it’s beauty and newness 
and be able to find the adventure in each day
Even when they all feel the same.
 I ask that you continue to wake up each morning with a smile, 
Even when it is no longer myself that gets to see it. 
Even if you are waking up with only yourself to smile for. 
It is while watching you dream, that my spirit awakens.
I beg you to always dream, 
to know that imagination will never be something to be ashamed of.
You know no Evil, and I pray that you never do. 
I will stand between you and distress, until I can no longer stand. 
When the day comes that you must meet conflict, and pain
When you become aware of the flaws that do exist, I beg you to forgive.
 I beg you to believe in the goodness. 
I hope that you meet these disturbances with grace, and that your strength and faith, and the confidence you have in yourself, will guide you to rise above.
One day a long time from now, my mind will cease to exist 
my thoughts will finally stop revolving around themselves in my mind 
as they have gained so much weight in this life, 
they now require their own gravitational pull.
 I will turn to ash, and be returned to the Earth from which we were created. 
But you, when I do, 
will always carry me with you. 
As you will every day until then,
no matter what you know to be true.
I thought, before knowing you,
that I knew what it was to be free.
Then you arrived, and I realized
that a wilder life awaited me.
 
 

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Dark Waters

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I’ve been spending time, trying to stay afloat

Refusing to drown in the murky waters you have left me in.

You filled the water to my chin,

watched me fight for my breath.

You let the paranoia of my own defeat set in,

pushed me to suffocate, rather than help me swim.

I continued to tread water, on and on

Too afraid to give up and too exhausted to move forward.

Without feeling, you watched

As I exerted all my energy into rising waters

You allowed me to drain myself completely of life,

determined to find solid ground.

Frantically, my arms flailed.

I never give up a fight.

I knew you got us here,

I knew you were the reason I was drowning.

Yet in one last desperate attempt to restore us to sanity,

in one last fleeting moment,

I gave you a final chance to redeem yourself –

To pull me up from the depths.

Ignoring my instincts,

I reached for you.

You took my hand, as my legs began to give out

and I felt hope once again.

Then you let the water rise, while looking in my eyes.

You watched me inhale,

before I sank slowly

Surrounded by the weight of your betrayal.

Only then, as the water filled my lungs, did I finally feel peace.

Only then, did I let go.

Lost and Found

All my limbs can become trees:

It’s like being lost and becoming found,

all in one brief moment of stillness.

Having the world at your weathered fingertips

but clenching your fist instead

in the hopes of holding onto a feeling.

It’s when I breathe deep, and you

You are at the end of my breath.

Returning it to me, filling me up.

Extracting any air of emptiness

Consuming a void I didn’t know I’d had

Taking a trip to a place that only exists in an alternate universe,

where I am floating through time with no relativity

And you return to me, your breath.

Inflating my lungs

It’s a century, if just for a second

A world of questions answered in a mystery unsolved.

It’s a kiss

Strong enough to lose yourself in,

safe enough still

to have become found.

Turbulence

The heart says :"am hurting",time replies:" you will get better with me", then finally the mind:" but I will always come back with memories" Ω Cliquez pour écouter. Enjoy yourself !..................................................✤.Miley Cyrus Wrecking Ball✤:

 

I miss it, the turbulence.

Sick as that is, gnawing at my edges, trembling the tips of my fingers.

The never knowing-ever-wondering bliss, of imperfections in a disorganized world.

Freedom.

Toxicity brimmed choices, bags around my eyes,

spotted skin with signs of making decisions that I made on my own, for myself.

Cheekbones protruding, arms like twine, tightly wrapped, consoling.

No thought, no judgement, no expectations.

I miss it,

the volatile yet ever evolving relationship I had with just one person in the entire universe.

Myself.

Would I reverse, stand in the shoes of someone who lived in the past?

I already have, a thousand times, been cycling and rising through lives.

Sometimes,

I miss it, the turbulence.

I pray for it, the change.

All while dreading any uncertainty, fearing the worst but expecting it subliminally.

Why do we become weary as we grow old?

Not because things become impossible,

because we realize they are right within our grasp,

but we have chosen not to clench them in our grip.

Taken a different path, that will forever lead us to the same place,

forever advancing in the same direction.

Moving constantly but getting nowhere at all.

Forever and ever the same.

Flight risk, I told you.

And the murmur of turbulence calls my name,

asks me if I will sit right here,

or turn and run

And never look back.

The Karma Series – Law Eleven

Stay Patient and Trust Your Journey digital download print, wall art, postitve phrase, chalkboard art:

11. The Law of Patience and Reward

“All rewards require initial toll. Rewards of lasting value require patient and persistent toll. True joy follows doing what we are suppose to be doing and waiting for the reward to come in its own time.”

It may not feel good right now, but knowing that what you are doing is good and pure will reward you later. Temptation intrigues you, impatience wants you to take the easy way out. Evil will push you to react negatively right away. When you take a breath, and ask yourself what is the right thing to do… time after time you will be thankful you stopped to think. Consistently doing what you are supposed to be doing, being honest, being respectful, being thoughtful and considerate of others DESPITE how you may feel – in the end you will feel better for being the better person. It is a reward in itself to know that you were the best person you could have been.

It takes a spiritual journey to rid yourself of toxins and of evils, and it takes recovery to understand that you are bigger than those things. Be patient, keep doing right. You will get knocked down 50 times but the first time you stand, you will SOAR. You have to have faith that your good deeds will be recognized and your bad deeds will be punished. Whatever you release into this world, the people who live in it and the environment will come back to you.

If you are smart, you will make it something good.

The Karma Series – Law Ten

"Pastel." by Debbie Barcomb @Joshua Arndt Lee #SummerEssentials:

10. The Law of Change

“History repeats itself until we learn the lessons we need to change our path.”

Albert Einstein said,

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”

He was very right. I love the tenth law of Karma because not only does it remind you that change is good, but it inspires you to be creative. It’s so easy to fall into a pattern of familiarity, to get comfortable in your unhappiness. I strive to do something different as often as I can. As an expecting mom who is constantly on the go, this has definitely been harder of late, but you realize that you can still mix up your routine in crafty ways. Be creative with your time, with your ideas and with your finances and you can make a little bit go a long way.

“Familiar” can be more comfortable but it can also be miserable. Why keep doing the same thing if you are not getting what you want out of them? Our lives are so fleeting, so fragile, a routine that we are not happy with is a waste of our time!

This law touches on a different meaning as well… learning our lessons and taking what we have learned and applying those to future experiences. I often wonder why I see people chasing the same person, striving for the same career, or reacting to certain situations in the same way… doing things basically that have made them upset time and time again. Maybe it’s time to let go of a relationship that has you fighting over the same things over and over, maybe it’s time to look for a career path that you are passionate about, and maybe you should look into your actions and the reactions they cause if situations are not easy. I actually had to reteach myself how to talk to people a few years ago. I realized that there are different approaches to communication dependent among who you are speaking with. My problem was, I was always communicating one way, to tons of people that I knew. I realized that if I wanted to be able to effectively communicate with family, girlfriends, boyfriends, coworkers, that you have to adjust the way you communicate, you can’t expect people to change for you.

Change what you give, and it will change what you take away.

Hanging Up The Gloves

boxing gloves

I want to note something that I wrote over a year ago, and by doing that I would like to thank the Universe, and thank myself for getting me to the place I am currently in. It took a lot to get here, from where I was, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

December 4th 2014 I wrote”Fighting For Your Life”

In it, I talk about my lack of peace and contentment. If you haven’t read it, it’s a terribly dark piece. But it’s real, and although I find it hard to relate to now, it surrounded me at that point. I was trying to change myself from being caught in depression, relying on medicine to do simple things like wake up with a fresh attitude, or even just go to sleep. I realize now that although I felt at the time that I was fighting myself, I was actually trying to save myself.

Now, I am myself. Completely, wholly, fortunately.
A year ago, I was fighting severe depression. Battling it with every ounce of strength I had.

And I won that battle. I’m happy I did, because it means I am still here. But I am also happy that I felt that way over a year ago. I know true pain, desolate loneliness, I know corners of low places that no human should ever encounter, I know them by name. And every single one of those things have made me realize when I’ve got it good. Damn if I don’t have absolutely everything in my life right now to be grateful for, and grateful I am.

December 4th, 2014 I was fighting for my own life.

December 4, 2015 I was creating new life, within myself.
Literally and figuratively. I am currently a little over 16 weeks pregnant.

December 4th was the date that I conceived.

And yet, there are some people that don’t believe that everything in this world connects. When I looked back and realized that I wrote that piece, a year prior to creating new life, to me that is much more than ironic.

That is a fucking miracle.